Iris ~ or taking time to appreciate the now

Many of you know that Iris was my foster puppy. She was so sweet, so ethereal, so brave. . . I actually had considered keeping her. I loved her a lot. Yesterday I took her along with her Mom, her brother and her sister to the veterinarian’s office to leave overnight to be spayed today. The surgery went fine, but for some reason she never woke up. They did an autopsy which only raised more questions with no answers.

So obviously I have been crying. I think of her sweet puppyness and puppy kisses and I miss her. The vet was kind and let me go and hold her and say good-bye. I’ll never touch her little puppy fur or get her sweet baby kisses.

But then it made me think. I started wishing I had spent more time with her and all of the dogs instead of playing stupid video games or games on my phone. How much time have I wasted? In fact, how much time have I wasted doing mindless things instead of doing the things that count?

Then someone posted the picture above on Facebook. Yes, I have regrets. I regret the time I wasted and didn’t spend holding her and loving her. Yes, everything happens for a reason. One of the reasons I believe it happened was to show me how I should be spending my time – building memories and relationships and learning. Not wasting a second.

Yes, I am sad and hurt. Yes, I will grieve. But if you don’t love, you don’t hurt. Life is too short not to love.



About michellerap

Today I find my identity in God. I use to find my identity in externals, like motherhood, being a lawyer, etc. But that's not who I am. I am redeemed and wholly loved and precious in His sight. First and foremost, this is who I am. The other things are part of me, but they do not define me. God does. My job as a Christian is not to judge people but to show them the heart and hands of Christ. I am to show mercy and grace. And someday, when I am an attorney, I hope I can help those God puts in my path to find justice. I am a mother of four and a grandmother of nine. I am proud of each of them. I also have three dogs. I am lawyer who loves what I do. I am also Gluten-Free and any recipe I publish is GF. It's the only way I cook.
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1 Response to Iris ~ or taking time to appreciate the now

  1. Julie says:

    Michelle – so sorry this happened. I’m sure you made Iris very happy during the time she had. Its hard to understand why loved ones have to leave us. This is a sad time for our family as well. We had to put our 15 year old Border Collie to sleep on Dec 23rd. We adopted him from a shelter as a puppy after he was found running along the highway. We have three more pups at home who are also missing him and consoling us. Dogs are so unselfish with their love that is hard for us as humans to ever match up to that.

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