Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day. On the off-chance that you haven’t learned it yet, ALL Mother’s want to hear you say Happy Mother’s Day. So CALL YOUR MOTHER! My son called me to tell me his dream, not to wish me Happy Mother’s Day. It’s bad enough that I’m studying for finals on Mother’s Day, but my son forgets (yes, I reminded him – never fear.)

But then I got on Facebook and someone had written a touching poem about visiting their mother’s grave. I cried. You see, my sister, because of my addiction, kept my mother from me the last 7 years of my mother’s life. My sister’s husband told my daughter to quit calling, that they didn’t want “our kind” calling their house. So, I don’t know where my mother is buried. I can’t visit her grave. My sister never even told us Mom died – my daughter found out through some genealogy program online. For the longest time I was angry. Or so I thought. Maybe I was just hurt. This past year I’ve been praying to forgive my sister and I guess it’s working. I’m not angry anymore but there still a lot of hurt. Now instead of wanting revenge, I just cried.

My Wedding - June 30, 2005 - yes, I just had to get it in.

My Wedding – June 30, 2005 – yes, I just had to get it in.

One thing I’ve learned in life is that you can’t go back. When you exclude someone from important moments in your life, weddings, funerals, etc. you’ll never get that back. You can’t go back and change it. That’s why I invited some of the people I did to my wedding – because I didn’t want to have those regrets.

God is “I AM.” He said “And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” (Exodus 3:14). He was emphatic about that. He was emphatic about the present tense. Not only that, dwelling in the past steals today.

“Don’t let the past steal your present.”~Terri Guillemets

Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.  ~Cherokee Indian Proverb

If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven’t done much today.  ~Author Unknown

So today, I will chose to pray for my sister (among other people who have hurt me). Luke 6:27-28, 32-33, 36 (NASB) says “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Obedience to the Word is not a feeling, but an action, an attitude of the heart. That’s right, not a feeling. When I began praying for my sister I didn’t feel like it. I even told God I didn’t feel like it. But I was obedient. And now God has taken the anger from me. Anger only hurts the person who has the anger. It gives ulcers and stomachaches and all kinds of physical ailments, plus all kinds of emotional aches, for nothing. So obedience can deliver from that. I know. He has brought me so far.

I am still sad. I still cry. But I am learning to forgive and to not be angry. I am learning to not let yesterday steal my todays and tomorrows. Happy Mother’s Day. 

Selah.

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About michellerap

Today I find my identity in God. I use to find my identity in externals, like motherhood, being a lawyer, etc. But that's not who I am. I am redeemed and wholly loved and precious in His sight. First and foremost, this is who I am. The other things are part of me, but they do not define me. God does. My job as a Christian is not to judge people but to show them the heart and hands of Christ. I am to show mercy and grace. And someday, when I am an attorney, I hope I can help those God puts in my path to find justice. I am a mother of four and a grandmother of nine. I am proud of each of them. I also have three dogs. I am lawyer who loves what I do. I am also Gluten-Free and any recipe I publish is GF. It's the only way I cook.
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