Wow! It’s Saturday and here I am flying 50,000 miles in the air from Salt Lake City to Las Vegas. As I was coming into Salt Lake, I wondered how long the pilot had been flying. Then I realized that here I am, trusting a complete stranger, a person I have never met with my life. I rationalized it by saying Delta wouldn’t let a complete numskull fly their million-dollar planes but my mind was reeling from the thought of how silly this seems.

So if I can trust a complete stranger with my life, why is it so hard for me to trust God? Oooh, what a question. I thought about that for a moment. Is it because I can’t see Him? Well, I normally don’t see the pilot. Is it because I still have the illusion of being in control since I booked the flight and paid for it? Why do we as human’s need the illusion of control, when in reality we have none. Let me say that again: NONE!!!. NO CONTROL!!! My life is beyond my control! I have no control over my breath, my very life, and I still live in the illusion of control. That is dumb. DUMB!

So how do I dwell in this delusion where I periodically wakeup from my stupidity of trying to maintain control. God wants us to let Him have control. Did I ask Him about going to Vegas? Nope. Did I ask Him about which flights to book, which hotel to stay in, which shows to see? I’m sure you can guess that this is also a big, fat NO!

So now what? What do I do now that I recognize my sin. Yes, not trusting God is sin. (By the way, have you noticed that this seems to be the lesson God is working on with me lately?) Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” He’s suppose to be directing my path, not me directing my path. Whoops – there goes my weekend plans.

Isaiah 24:3-4 says “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.” Wait – if I learn to trust God he will give me peace and strength. Wow. I am short-changing myself but not trusting Him.

Have you ever noticed that God gives us [me] so much more than I ever had possible if you [I] just take one little step in the right direction. Right now I feel like crying because I realize my self-sufficiency, my failure to trust Him, has very likely kept my heart from peace and strength.

Dear Father, show me how to trust you more. Show me, help me, PLEASE, how to dwell in you and not in my own self-sufficiency. I acknowledge that doing things my way is sin, not talking to you about everything is sin, not trusting you is sin. Oh God, I want to do things your way, but I get so caught up in the world and in it’s call and lure. Help me to stay focused on you, help me to be the woman you have called me to be. I want you to be my strength. I want all of myself to trust in you. Amen.

Right now, oh beloved friends, I beseech you to join me in making this your prayer.  Save yourself a lifetime of weakness. Dwell in His strength. Selah.

About michellerap

Today I find my identity in God. I use to find my identity in externals, like motherhood, being a lawyer, etc. But that's not who I am. I am redeemed and wholly loved and precious in His sight. First and foremost, this is who I am. The other things are part of me, but they do not define me. God does. My job as a Christian is not to judge people but to show them the heart and hands of Christ. I am to show mercy and grace. And someday, when I am an attorney, I hope I can help those God puts in my path to find justice. I am a mother of four and a grandmother of nine. I am proud of each of them. I also have three dogs. I am lawyer who loves what I do. I am also Gluten-Free and any recipe I publish is GF. It's the only way I cook.
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